I just came back from some incredible shwarma. There's this yellow sauce that is made out of some spice I can't figure out that is hands down the greatest thing since sliced bread. I've mastered the overloading of the lafa (flat round bread into which meat of felafel is packed) with various sauces and pickled vegetables, and can now load it up, eat a part of my shwarma, then reload, eat more, reload again, etc. This new skill is much to the chagrin of the surly Mizrahim who were regretting having unlimited fixin's available to customers. There's a trick that allows me to do this without getting overly messy and having the whole thing fall apart. It's a secret.

I am also rather happy about my poker victory on Thursday night. It's not that I play, but I used to fool around with my friends in the states. 80 shekels richer, that's right, that's a lot of shwarma. Just wanted to remind my readers, and there are probably at least 4 of you at this point and you all know me, that you can open up your fat american wallets and call me. So far, only one of you has accomplished this fairly easy feat. For the readers who stumbled upon my blog, you can't call me because you don't have my number. Of course, I do know of some crazy women in NY who found my number online in order to slowly drag me into their carefully woven web of sexual deviance. You know who you are, and you know you shouldn't be having sex till marriage.

I am going to watch that Fun with Dick and Jane movie in a few minutes. I doubt it'll be that good, but Jim Carrie has got to deliver something decent after such a long break. On an unrelated note, food in the US must have some chemicals added to it by the government as part of a grand conspiracy to make Americans fat. That way, they keep buying cars, huge TV's and other amenities that fat lazy people need to consume for happiness and entertainment. I eat whatever I want here, to the point of blatant disregard for any and all medical recommendations, and I can't put on a pound.